O Lord and Master of my life...

From the book "Three Prayers"

by Olivier Clement

This prayer is attributed to St Ephrem the Syrian (306-ca.373) and is a significant element of the services of Great Lent.

It is repeated three times, accompanied by three great "metania", the prostrations in which the forehead touches the floor. Metania (metanoia) refers specifically to penitence as a conversion of our entire perception of reality.

O Lord and Master of my life

"Lord " suggests the inaccessible mystery of "God beyond God", the Hypertheos. And yet this God is no stranger to me;

I exist by His Will; His Breath enlives the earth from which I was made; He calls me and elicits a response; through His incarnation He has become "master of my life". It is He who gives my life meaning even-and especially-when the meaning eludes me. In this context the term "Master", while emphasizing transcedence, does not refer to a tyrant but to a sacrificing and liberating Father whose desire is to adopt me in his Son, and who bears an unlimited respect for my freedom. The incarnnate Son, in whom the Father is fully present, is born in a stable, allows Himself to be murdered by our cruel freedom, then rises again revealing Himself only to those who love Him.

Nevertheless, this crucified "master"remains the master of all life. He alone can free us from our freedom; He alone can transfigure the dark passions of our lives into His life - giving Breath. The greatness of this king lies in the fact that He makes Himself our servant: " I am among you as one who serves ".

[…] Thus my relationship with the Master is not one of servitude but one of free trust.

He is the “Master of my life” because He is its source, because I am continually receiving it from Him,and because it is He who gives and forgives, and continues to give in abundance a future made new:

"Go, and sin no more".

I exist only through this ultimately subtle love which bears me up unconditionally and beyond any need; a love that makes itself a servant, that those who wish to serve it might become its friends.The ascetic effort that is stressed during Great Lent can only be a genuine liberation within the context of faith…and faith entails first and foremost risking a measure of trust. In you, O Master of my life, who reveal yourself as a countenance, I place all my trust; in your word and in your presence, for you are not merely an example but theundivided Onewho becomes our place of rest, a place devoid of death:

“Come to me all you who labor and are heavy- laden and I will give you rest”. You are a place for us who are orphans of our native earth and of wise customs, You are the placewherein is life, You are its Master. In this place we will dig out the catacombs from which the cathedrals of the future will rise up.[…]

Take from me the spririt

of sloth,

despair,

lust of power

and idle talk

There is a way. You are the way. But along this way are obstacles which define our fundamentally sinful condition; a condition of which Jesus reminded those who wished to stone the woman caught in adultery.

"Sloth", in this instance, is not of the kind we experience on a lazy summer vacation. Sloth means forgetfulness, to which the ascetics refer as "the greatest of all sins". Forgetfulness means the inanability to be amazed, to marvel or even to see. It is a kind of slumber, a form of sleepwalking, whether expressed in hyperactivity or in inertia. It is a frame of mind in which the only relevant criteria become utility, profitability and the correlation of price and quality. There are interior as well as exterior hindrances: an over-crowded agenda for some, where every activity leads to another, and insufficient involvement for others who fall prey to violence and drugs. I may forget that others have as deep an inward existence as I do; I may never stop for anything; I may never be captivated by music or by a rose; I may never give thanks - since all things are rightfully mine. I may forget that all things are rooted in mystery and that mystery dwells within me. I may forget God and His creation. I may no longer know how to accept myself as a creature with a immeasurable destiny. I may forget death and the possible meaning beyond it. All this amounts to a spiritual neurosis which has to do not with sexuality - which may become the means of forgetting - but with supressing the "light of life" which gives meaning to others, to the smallest spec of dust as well as to myself.

This forgetfulness, having developed into a collective phenomenon, can only yield dreadful consequences. We convince ourselves that God does not exist, and the neurosis becomes more intense. Out of the void, the fallen angels begin to pervade history. O Lord and Master of my life, awaken me!

This "sloth", this anesthetic which affects our whole being, this insensitivity, the closing off the depths of our heart, the sexual and intellectual frustration, all these lead to " despondency". It is what the ascetics refer to as " accedia" - an aversion to life; despair.

What is the use of anything? Nowadays there is a fascination with suicide, and derision is universal. I have "gotten over" everything; it is all the same to me; I have become cynical and numb. I am very old and no longer have the spririt of childhood.

We may as well turn and run, flee toward the spirit of "lust of power" and that of " idle talk". We need slaves and enemies. We invent them. We lord over others to feel as if we were gods, we have enemies in order to hold them responsible for our anxiety. Torturing others - as it is always their fault - violating their bodies and perhaps even their souls, keeping them at our mercy, on the verge of extinction but without letting them escape into death - this is the experience of a nearly - divine omnipotence. In them, I hate my own mortality. As I trample them down, I trample down my own death.There have been god - kings and deified tyrants - every display of power takes on a sacred character.

This is why, at the cost of their lives, the first Christians refused to call Ceasar lord. Only God is Lord. Other Christians from this century have refused to worship race or class and have paid the price. Christ stripped power of its sacred character by reminding us to render to God what is God's, and to Ceasar what is Ceasar's. Over the centuries Christians have not always lived up to this.
They once blessed an emperor who had killed his son and his wife because they beleived he had placed his power in God' service.
In some instances, the hope that power might become a means of service is gratified; most often, it is a costly illusion.

[...]  And to what degree has the lust for power contaminated even the church? " Idle talk " - an expression  taken from the Gospels - refers to every thought, to every bit of imagination that withdraws from silence, from wonder, from the intencity of being , and from mystery. It refers to any approach to man that claims to explain and simplify him without taking into account all that is in him that cannot be explained or simplified; any approach to creation which does not account for its rhythm and beauty. It is understanding rather than inspiration; the illusions of an art is attempting to divest itself of its nuptial quality.

We live in a civilization of " idle talk ", of idle images, where our excessive needs scuttle our desires, where money determines our dreams, where advertising has developed into the opposite of ascesis, the intentional reduction of needs for the sake of sharing and freeing one's desire. Nevertheless, we await a word of life; with the burden of silence and the awareness of death, we await a word of ressurection.[...]

"Three Prayers"

by Olivier Clement

  

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